SoulSpeak™

decisions and life choices...

2008-02-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

i asked a certain question to the youth group i was handling before...

the question i asked them was, "what is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning..." have you ever asked the same thing?

the answers i got were so varied... from well thought of ones to really silly ones...

the answer to this is, MAKING DECISIONS...

when you wake up you decide whether to get up and go... or stay and sleep for another five minutes...

decisions...

every day from the moment we wake up till the moment we sleep... each moment we ALWAYS decide...

some decisions are menial, while some are life altering...

some decisions are well accepted, others are not...

for those of you who know me,knows that i do my best not to hurt people... specially ones dear to me... i would put myself in harms way before i even think of hurting others...

today, i made some decisions... not easy ones if i may add...

the result of which may hurt someone... someone,truly dear...

-sigh-

no apologies... no regret... i am not moved by what men might say... "well played!!!" someone says... whatever people think or say,my decision stays...

the joster says this...

he who has EARS,LISTEN...

I WILL NOT BE MOVED!!!!

Bouncing baby Bennet!(hope got the spelling right!)

2008-01-23T00:44:00.000+08:00

here are the pictures of the newest member of the luna family... we dropped by just awhile ago to their place to see the baby! so adorable the little guy!!!

the brothers luna

kuya bernard!!!

the new little guy!!!

awww.... ain't he just adorable??!!

well done arnelli and ate frauline!!!

a notice...

2008-01-11T10:35:00.000+08:00

to my beloved blog-mates... as you can see i remade my blog... i really hope you like it... if you are looking for my cbox and my archives... click the on the "pull string" and it will slide down...

i changed my blogs name as well... from the ego-centric title of "iJoster" to what really this blog is about... how from the abundance of my heart, it overflows here... here is where my "soul speaks", hence the new title... will post my next entry soon...

iJoster, thank you... read on...

just a random entry...

2008-01-08T03:30:00.000+08:00

i really wanna recap my year... i even tried to make my own list of "i did this and did that in 2007"...

but when i really think through it all,the last year was not really about what my achievements were,(thought i believe through his grace i have done a lot!!!) nor was it about my experiences... in reality... as far as i can recall last year was a time in my life where i felt like i was closest to God than i ever was...

he has constantly stood beside me and at times carried me on his shoulders when i couldn't go on...

this past year, i could easily say i had the most ordeals so far,but i would much rather boast that my God has been the source of my strength and my joy to have kept me chug'n like a good trooper...

he has guided me with decision all year 'round... where i am now is because his words are like a lamp upon my feet and a light unto my path...

i have learned a lot this past year... (and STILL 'am learning this year)
about myself and which paths i am supposed to take...
about my father in heaven whom i joyfully serve and his plans for me...
i have learned how to be swift in listening and slow in speaking...
and most importantly to trust him completely no matter what i see,FULL STOP!!!

this is a one shot, just straight thru, "typing like a machine" entry(sorry for the typos...), but am kinda runnin' outta "blog ammo"...
i just got this sudden eagerness to blog at lemme look at my watch... half-past 3 in the morning...

i should end this really...

its getting long my buddies...

so now the jo-ster says this...

we are CREATED for a CAUSE...
and no matter what CIRCUMSTANCES we face,
those CIRCUMSTANCES will never hinder us from
COMPLETING our CREATOR'S intended CAUSE...

this maybe late... but at this rate, i wont hesitate... 2008 is gonna be great... its the year to dominate!!! holler if you hear me!!!

BOOKS

2007-12-27T11:17:00.000+08:00

an outpour...

2007-11-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

it has been a-while since i have last posted anything here if am not mistaken it might have been since last august...

i guess i havent posted alot cause i think i was having too much "online" time than i should... the "world wide web" (the internet as we all so familiarly call it) and myself have had a love hate relationship for the longest time...

facts:

my last relationship was maintained and was ended (OUCH!) online...

i have kept in contact with a close friend when she was here and while she was back at her country thru msn and yahoo...

wow! hehehe!

whats sad is, at some point i feel like i can express myself better thru IM's than in person (am really working to get back my people skills!!!)...

so there... well that was a prequel to my formal blog...

so ok here i go...

i turned 27 last september 9... how can i say it.... i had a great time,it was a sunday and the church's album was released...

but to be honest, at the end of the day... i felt left alone... (hold yer breath people this is gonna turn into a tear-jerker in a minute!)

i remember looking forward to that day last november... i was awaiting my visa application result from the british embassy... i said to myself... "probably on my 27th birthday i'll be in england and happily married working as a youth pastor for this church"...
how things have turned to the opposite...

i want everyone to understand that, i aint a "phony" nor am i being "plastic" when i laugh or smile... i genuinely am happy, i really am...

i think a sunday school song describes it best... it goes,
"...with Christ as my vessel i can smile at the storm, until he sails me home..."
i belive God has given me this ability to just smile and laugh and show no sign of sorrow in public...

but when i get home the song kinda changes... a familiar song starts playing and goes...
".....they dont know,that i come running home when i fall down... they dont know who picks me up when no one is around..."

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!

well after a fantastic pep talk the other day (thanks babe! and oh,you SHOULD start reading my blog!!!!) and lots of meditation of the word...

i have finally understood everything perfectly and had come to the realization that i am where God intended me to be... that i am in his perfect will... that i am walking daily in his loving grace... in him i am COMPLETE!!!

dont get me wrong folks, i still want to get married (i have moved on!) and i know i am gonna get married to the person God has made specifically and specially for me... i could even elaborate more on it, i dont want to start kindling gossip but yes i am praying for someone... ENOUGH SAID! CHANGING TOPIC... ;)

well i think this post has "made up" for "lost time"...

to cap it all off...

the Jo-ster says this...

"patience is a virtue...
virtue is a grace...
but only His grace is more that enough for me!"

just felt like sharing!

2007-08-24T02:39:00.001+08:00

at church there has been a fad about prison break and its 3rd season... everyone wants to know what happens! well i found the first 17 minutes season 3's 1st episode titled "ORIENTACION"

enjoy...

click here

EDIT!!!

the link has been removed by the site due to intellectual property right infringements...

whatta shame... :(

standing infront of a crossroad...

2007-08-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

tis been a-while...
was quite busy and stuff with a lot of "stuff"(pardon my redundancy),hence the absence on the "blog-o-sphere" (oh my days, thats was just so geeky! )

ok ok ok... EHEM EHEM...

in this journey we take called life, we walk through various paths... some roads are smooth,while some if don't follow our life-map(the bible) we would end up in a rough uphill climb...

at the start of this month i had a talk with a dear friend... she has been persuading me to go to her place and visit her... was persuading me to spend my birthday there (which is soon!) or get there 3 weeks before she comes here and fly with her back here... i REALLY loved the prospect of it... i get to travel again, see and meet new people... even visit one of my earlier mentors...

i was at the brink of applying for a visa even...

but on that same weekend, my leader in ministry and i...
had a relatively short(BUT DRAMATICALLY LIFE CHANGING) talk!
that talk instantly SHIFTED my whole perspective towards another direction... a very humbling one if i may say so... for a brief moment i stood at a crossroad... looked at where both these paths would lead...

the choice was easy...

to whatever he (my ministry leader) has asked of me i said yes...

*i dont feel like posting it yet, but i will when the time is proper...

i just thank God for this new privilege he has given me!!!

I've recently texted some people this message cause i was formerly in that situation... but now i overcame this situation,with it i wrap this post up...

the Jo-ster says this:
"Choices arent always between good & bad. At times,its a choice between the good & the best. in times like these we need the word,for us not to miss Gods best..."

xxx

J-O-Y down in my heart...

2007-08-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

that my friends is a TUNE! hehehe! choice words from a classic sunday school song!

we all know that JOY comes from the inside and that it does not need outside stimulation...

i have heard 3 men of GREAT INFLUENCE in my life ask me about it; and my pastor spake (oh yes,its all about KING JAMES English!!! hehehe) about it last wednesday @ our mid-week service...

interestingly all 3 of those men of influence asked me of my joy with regards to the same matter... GIRLS! hehehe actually NO!!! hehehe I WAS JUST KIDDING! (just felt i had to make that joke! sorry for making that comment! hehehe)

well kidding aside and as i was saying all of them asked me of my joy with regards to the appointment which i talked about in my previous post...

and each time i was asked,i responded in silence! people who knows me and have been around me can attest that i could barely keep my mouth shut for at least a minute! hehehe!

each time i couldn't come up with a wisecrack like i would normally do!

it intrigues me why i cant say anything! even in this post (am seriously trying to answer it, and by faith at the end of this post i have come up with one, oh my days that should be on the next line!)

...

hehehe
i guess the answer lies here...

That ministry has been a shelter for me for quite awhile... it was where i first heard the WORD OF FAITH! i was one of its youngest graduates back then... who i am now, was in great part because of God training and working through me there... it was sort of my home when i was in ( how should i say it??? for lack of a better term...) "spiritual limbo"! i was longing for a spiritual home... dads church was far away... my former church has moved on in my absence... during those times,it was the only place where i could be in his service... but i know i need to have my REAL SPIRITUAL HOME! i am forever grateful for every opportunity this ministry has given me...

i would STILL be doing what i used to do for this ministry BUT my CHURCH comes FIRST,ALWAYS!!!

i believe God has shown me where my real home is...

God has en-grafted me into this church...

and as the saying goes home is where the heart is... and where my heart is there my JOY is also...

the jo-ster sings this...

J-O-Y down in my heart... deep, deep down in my heart...

a very "pointed" day...

2007-07-31T22:24:00.000+08:00

i have been thinking of a proper title for this entry,i think the one i came up with was brilliant!

this day has been very interesting...

point number one!

ap-POINT-ment:

it started @ 12:30 am, when dad came home and gave me a letter from L.T.I., its a letter of appointment... i was informed (only thru this letter and a text message and NO formal talk)that i was pointed as ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF THE WORSHIP DEPARTMENT OF GARY V. JOHNSON MINISTRIES.

WHOA!!!

this is really quite a predicament specially these days... with the production of faithmusic manila's latest album and its upcoming realse where i am very involved and committed to... the job description of the above mentioned position would DEFINITELY be in conflict with my commitment with my ministry @ church... it would really be an honor to be offered such a position but i would want to be able to do it properly... at this time it would be not possible...

and this would be a "very complicated" decision... with lots of events revolving around it,as to why i am being ap-POINT-ed

i am still praying hard about it... but a wise mentor had this wise words to say... "at times the most annointed answer is NO..."

just a side note... i happen to be very annoyed with someone concerning this,excuse me on "FLAMING"...

my friends forgive me!

someone has been trying to convince me (RATHER ANNOYINGLY) to accept this position... when i tell her about my commitment at church, which in the first place she knows VERY WELL... she replies to me with this "You are not the only one who is doin lots of stuff, that she also has a lot of stuff to do!!!"

SIS i tell you this, first i didnt complain... i all said is that i have a lot in my hands... and second... the difference with you and me is that,YOU are a PAID STAFF of that ministry and i am a volunteer... do you see the difference??? that is your job, you cant whine about your responsibilities! and my first priority ( you should know this!) is my LOCAL CHURCH!

enough of that!!! again i apologize for FLAMING!

moving on...

point number 2

what could be more pointed than a NEEDLE???

yes my friends,you heard it right... a NEEDLE! those who know me, knows quite well that me and needles don't mix... AT ALL!

i have had 2 really deep cuts which would have required several stitches but i have refused to be stitched cause of what else? NEEDLES!

but today i stood at the face (i actually looked away! hehehe!) of my greatest fear and WON! TWICE! hehehe!

to give a brief history on what am talking about... i have been healed recetnly of this re-occurring dizziness and random "motion sickness" (did i get it right doc ellen? hehehe) then i told one of the churches up and coming(PALAKPAKAN,first tagalog word!!!) physician doc ellen licup about my condition... to make it short we agreed to have an acupuncture encounter! hehehe

and it happened just this evening! hehehe! it was really the most nervous I've got in years!!! but i was reminded with what the bible says in 2Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

and yes my friends i faced the [long and scary looking needls!] needles and won not once but twice!!! hehehe!
it was a really weird feeling &seeing them 2 and a half inch long needles sticking outta my skin which is stimulated(what it means is that doc ellen twists the needles while they are stuck on my flesh!!!) every 5 minutes!!! but at the end of this"ordeal", i overcame my fear of needles!!!

i just continue to praise God for his continuous presence in my life...
giving me increase...
seeing that i overcome my fears...

he is my source and my strength!

this was a very "pointed" day indeed!

ps.
thanks to doc ellen for acupuncture-ing me!!! receive your harvest!

last song syndrome...

2007-07-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

there has been one song in my heart and my mind for weeks (possibly a month even!) its David Crowder's -wholly yours...

i first heard it on new song cafe where David Crowder (one of the persons i look up to as a Christian musician) was interviewed by Vicky Beeching to teach this new song...

i was a fan of his guitar skills IMMEDIATELY! the way he played the song was so BRILLIANT!!! first i just liked to play it cause it made me look good as i play it (hehehe) and i kinda show off when i do forgive me please!

after i've gotten over the preliminary infatuation with how skillfully this song was made i tired to sing along as i played... as i expected it was really a challenge to do so,with all his finger movements! (am posting the video as well, so you'll all know what i am saying! hehehe!!!)

as i read thru the lyrics i found how deep and profound it was... it came closer to my heart... one of the parts that hit me was the first pre-chorus which sings:

But a certain sign of grace is this:
from the broken earth flowers come
pushing to the earth...

i was like, WOW! such poetry and truth! in a conversation with a friend we talked about what grace means... i loved how he defined grace... he said grace is receiving something we don't deserve! i just have to say it is mind blowing just trying to fathom what he has given us and why he gave it!

I am using this song (with some work around some lyrics) in the next Worship Service I'll lead at L.T.I. thats the first saturday of august at 9 am in buencamino in alabang just across honda

As i search deeper thru this song i find myself in the same position as David Crowder when he writes (tho i think it was his mum who wrote this song he said it in the video!) what i believe is the climax of this song,it sings:

But the harder I try
the more clearly can I
feel the depth of our fall
and the weight of it all
And so this might could be
the most impossible thing:
Your grandness in me
making me clean
Glory, hallelujah

i just love how well written this song is!

i really should say that our language hasn't come up with the adequate words to define what God has given us thru his Son,Jesus... like what the last bit said,the harder we try to imagine, fathom or comprehend his grace for us the more clearly we see our "un-worth"... we should just stop trying to put reason behind it and just be thankful of this precious gift!

i'll cap this post with the message that this song left in my spirit as i broke down the song to its very core...

this is the certain sign of grace he referred to:

from the broken earth

-earth-pertains to us for we were formed from the earth into his image and likeness
what makes the earth broken is that it is not watered by its farmer, in our case its the earth refusing to be watered! like us refusing God's love

flowers come pushing to the earth

-that in spite of everything, if we JUST let him into our hearts... receive his grace... and acknowledge that we are nothing without him... from within us a new creation will come pushing to the earth!

GLORY TO GOD!!!

here is the video

Disappointment!

2007-07-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

by nature i joke alot... its even hard for me to keep myself from smiling! this really hit me hard! so hard that it smacked the smile outta my face and i just had to post it!

i just got back from my friends place and by chance they were watching "imbestigador" on TV!

*for those who dont know what the show is all about,they expose illegal activities by people and more often they expose public officials or government employees and all the crookedness they do!

i LIKED it... keyword LIKED it,until tonight's episode specially one certain segment...

in this segment, they exposed a traffic enforcer who stole less than a liter of gasoline from his SERVICE MOTORCYCLE by draining it and transferring it to his to his PERSONAL MOTORCYCLE. this traffic enforcer also uses his service vehicle for personal use (eg. taking his kids to school or his wife to work)

i do not condone with what he did... yes it is stealing its a sin and what he did was a crime... i believe that there arent any shades of sin, there isnt a white sin or a black sin that glows eerie red! no one sin is bigger than the other...

according to the report... collectively,the gas he consumed in using his service vehicle for personal use plus the half a liter(ok maybe a bit more than half) would amount to somewhere less than 800 pesos a month! wow thats a lot isnt it?

my disappointment was they showed his face and, said his name on national TV and showed his humiliating dismissal from his job...

come on guys! thats kicking a man when his already down!

what chance did you give the guy to start over a new and reformed life? who would hire him?

what choice do you leave him? especially when he has kids to send to school! what career could he pursue now? being a "drug traffic enforcer" and yes my friends PUN WAS INTENDED!

its a shame that in their pursuit to back up the networks tag line "serbisyong totoo", "genuine service" in English for my foreign friends... THEY ruined a family's future... or hopes of a good one... consider the kids at school... the wife at work or just them in the neighborhood?

with all sarcasm in my body i salute you by catching the biggest fish in the fishbowl!!!

it pains me to witness that they show his face (someone who stole 800 pesos a month) and hide the face of someone who actually killed a person (or was a suspect i cant remember out for frustration, sorry!)

well whats done is done...

to end this entry i quote Matthew 7:1&2

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

So it begins...

2007-07-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

ehem...
So it begins...

Day one...

Have discussed these 3 words with a close friend and have been thinking about it loads...

TEMPTATIONS

TRIALS

TESTS

we have discussed that tho they may have been used interchangeably in the bible each one is entirely different from the other and has life altering outcomes (just depends if you overcome or not)...

TEMPTATIONS
Source
- Various (but definitely not God)
when you overcome it
- your status remains unchanged ( hopefully we learn something outta it!)
when you don't
- well everyone knows what happens after... need i say more?! hehehe

TRIALS
Source
- LOTS (circumstances, man, our decisions)
when you overcome it
- you prove your worth "to someone" or "of sumthing"
when you don't
- one will have less of the benefits of what he/she used to enjoy...

TEST
Source
- LOTS ASWELL (keynote*- God only tests us with good things!)
when you overcome it
- it brings increase and promotion to ones life! also tells us to prepare for the next one!
when you dont
- you just get ready to take another!

just my two cents...